Strangest find yet....

Yeah, It's a body armor vest. Why so strange? I found it on a trash pile! I was out on the Harley and rode past a house with a bunch of stuff out for trash day. I did a double-take, and then a "nahhhh", so I turned around and sure enough, it was what it was. Most shocking was it was my size! Not an easy find by any stretch of the imagination. Not sure how much I can rely on this thing but it has to beat rollin' naked. I looked like a fool wearing it home on my bike, and it smelled like a dog but that's been all fixed. Eventually everything you need in life you will find in the trash. I am Detritius Rex, King of Garbage!